26.10 Lead by example, living our values authentically

It is precisely because people share our highest ideals and values that they are so angry and New Magna Carta Mediumcynical when we betray them. When we live our values authentically, that is powerful and attractive. It generates respect and trust – makes others feel secure, knowing who we are. It also makes us feel better about ourselves and more likely to be successful. When we let ourselves down, deliberately or unintentionally, that trust, respect and confidence is easily lost. We believe in our freedom, our democracy and our security. If we act against those values in other people’s countries they lose respect for us. Part of the problem is that we are not very honest about our values. We like to trumpet our attractive values like peace, fairness and compassion. They make us feel good and present an attractive front to others. That is fine so long as we mean it. We are not so keen on admitting to other basic values like power, security, status, control, sex and territory. We are ashamed to admit to our shadow of jealousy, envy, resentment, pleasure in hurting others, desire to pull others down, desire to dominate, superiority and contempt. We should be as honest as we can be about our true values because then, when we act on them, no one will be surprised. Most people have a certain respect for those who honestly express and exhibit their more primitive values. It depends how it is done. Where we are acting out pathological values, we need to clean those up.