We have given vast amounts of aid to countries in the developing world. Some of the aid and development assistance has been effective. Unfortunately, large sums of money have gone astray into the pockets of corrupt officials or into the hands of our own companies. We have patronised people in developing countries, treating them like helpless victims. We have been desperate to give money to assuage our guilt for colonisation, and to relieve our embarrassment over our success. Many local elites have been keen to play the victim-rescuer game for their own personal benefit. The victim-perpetrator-rescuer game is harmful and counter-productive. If we sincerely want to help people then we need to empower them. We should treat them not as some amorphous mass but on a case-by-case basis. We need to wisely engage with them with respect and sincerely listen to what they want and need. In some instances, they need security before anything else can be achieved. We may be able to help with that. Where they need justice, education, regulation and healthcare, we can support them in developing that. We need to be humble about our advice because our experts have a pretty poor track record. We need to take care of our guilt and work alongside others to find out how we can best support and empower them to achieve their goals.